The B.V. Pig Farm

My buddy Joel and I headed out for a little fishing this evening at a small pond outside of B.V. This pond is owned by one of the ranchers that attend church where Joel brings the weekly message and tends the flock. The plan was to take Joel’s daughter and soon to be son in law out for a bit of fishing and give him a little of the Colorado experience. Joel figured we would take the kids out so they could have some fun and catch some fish in a pond that he had some experience with. A pond that I knew nothing about.
A couple of thoughts came to mind:

1. I’m not a big fan of fly fishing in a pond…Something about putting a tiny size 16 fly in a pool of water the size of a city block. “Needle in a hay stack” comes to mind. The fish have a zillion options and how are they going to find my tiny fly?
2. Lets get the Buckeye soon to be son in law into some fish and head to the Arkansas River where we belong. The rain has finally stopped so the river should be on fire. The flows are perfect and while we were going to be on the river during the heat of the day we should be able to throw a few dry flies to some rising browns. Thats the most fun a man can have with his clothes on.

We arrive at this pond and I have 17 inch rainbow on my Parachute Adams in less than 2 minutes!!! Every fish I caught in that pond was big and very strong!!! Dropping that Adams on that pond and watching another 20 inch rainbow swing in and hammer that fly was outstanding and doesn’t happen every day. These bows took off running and jumped like crazy. It was a great couple of hours tending to the PIG FARM.
Joel in the meantime took the occasion to bond with the soon to be son in law. Joel took the time to help the guy get his rod and reel rigged up with a bubble and fly and got him into some big fish. He treated a guy that he had met less than 48 hours ago like a friend. At one point both of them were standing on a small inlet in mud up to their shins having a ball catching fish. The problem lies in the fact that this is the same guy that is going to marry Joel’s ONLY daughter. If it were me I would have taken the opportunity to tie a boulder to the guys’ leg and drop him in the pond so he’d leave my little girl alone. Don’t get me wrong the Buckeye was a very nice guy but if you have an opportunity to get rid of the guy that’s planning on stealing your little girl you gotta take it.

Joel is better than that…Im not.

Internet on the Plane

It’s been announced that in 2008 both American Airlines and Lufthansa are launching broadband service (via WiFi) on their planes. Gee this is going to be great!! I get to sit next to some fat sweaty dude from Boston and listen to him POUND his keyboard for a couple of hours. Then, when he’s done looking at porn he can get his headset out and talk to all of his load mouthed buddies about the Red Sox via Skype (Voice Over IP). Since the calls are cheap every bubba will try to use it. As if arriving at the airport 12 hours before your flight, hunting for a parking space, standing in the cattle call line called Security, and having to strip to your skivvies to get through security isn’t bad enough we now have to deal this.
I know there is an argument that this will make us more productive. But let’s all admit that there are times when you just want to get on the plane and catch a nap or read a book. Some of us take advantage of flight time to….relax. Now we get to listen to some dude named Tony babble to his buddy Dominic about the Yankees/ Sox game last night….. That’s going to be worth the price of admission. Since there is a God in heaven I am hoping that God and the FAA will not allow voice traffic over the WiFi so I don’t have to listen to people babble about the Sox.

When your favorite store lets you down…..Home Depot

Yes I know I live 125 miles from the closest Home Depot but that doesn’t give them the right to treat us country bumpkins like crap!!
First things first… Neither H nor I could understand what the strange odor was in the upstairs bathroom. No it’s not what you think… We had given the room a thorough cleaning numerous times but the odor wouldn’t leave. It also has the same décor that was installed when the house was built sometime in the ‘60’s. Like it or not it was time for a remodel. After Dan the Contractor Man got done with the demo we found mold behind the shower tile…. Hence the Odor.
So we began the shopping spree and the war with Home Depot. First, Tater and I go pickup a whirlpool tub from the Home Depot on Wadsworth. These things are NOT cheap but H and I thought it would be nice to have a whirlpool in the only bathtub we have in the house. The guests and the girls would love it. The floor guy at Home Depot seemed helpful enough and spoke like he knew what he was doing. So I bought the thing and hauled back to BV. Several days later when the plumber and the contractor were ready to install it they found that the box had been opened. The tub has several cracks in the front and the drain had plumbers putter around it. The tub had already been installed and then returned to the store. NICE…. The Home Depot associate dork failed to share that with me when I bought it.
I decided to exchange the jacked up tub with a new one at the Home Depot in Avon. Figured it was a little closer to BV and I could get in and out quicker….BIG MISTAKE. I called the store before leaving BV to warm them that I was on my way and to ensure that they had a NEW tub in stock. I also asked if they would pull it down and have it waiting for me when I got there. The lady on the phone said she couldn’t do that unless I PAID for the new tub. I tried to explain that I was exchanging a tub, not purchasing one. She didn’t get it so I waited 45 minutes for them to get their crap together and get one pulled down from the rafters. When we FINALLY got to the front of the store the manager started treating me like this was my fault. I had to take him and a couple of other dorks out to the van and show him the cracked tub. He started insinuating that I broke the tub which I quickly corrected. I had to show EVIDENCE of the cracks, the plumbers putty and the box that had been re-taped. I politely reminded these guys that I had just driven an hour and a half to return a piece of junk that their company had sold me. I was more polite than that however. I then asked the manager if he would be willing to toss me a store credit so I could pick up a heater for the tub. He started giving me this crappy attitude. He informed me that he would NOT give me a credit and that he was doing me “a favor” for doing the exchange. I reminded him again I had talked to one of HIS employees about this issue and she never mentioned that I couldn’t exchange the tub at his store. I also reminded him that I live 125 miles from the closest Home Depot and he was the closest. Again, more attitude from this idiot. Finally he pointed to the tub that was on the cart and stated…”well…there’s your tub…” Didn’t even offer to help me load the tub in my van, just stood there acting like a jerk. As I got to the parking lot the knot head finally walked out of the store. I thought we were going to continue our heated conversation. As I turned to the guy he said he would help me load the tub….I informed him that he had done enough for me and I didn’t want his help. He just stood there and finally grabbed the corner of the box as I pushed it in the van. Didn’t once offer an apology for his crappy attitude or an explanation for why he refused to help me out with a small store credit…..
Three days prior to this little incident H, the girls, and I are in the Home Depot in the Colorado Springs off Academy Blvd. Our plan was to drop a wad of cash on some tile, a sink, a cabinet and a mirror for the same bathroom. We found the tile isle but needed a little help with how much we needed to buy to cover the floor and the tub area. We waited for almost an hour without getting any help!!! There was one lady that was working the whole section and she was slammed with people. Particularly a 200year old guy that wasn’t buying anything but instead was obtaining free advice on his tiling project….. The old guy had her corned and she couldn’t escape. I finally asked the Home Depot Lady if there was anyone else that could help us and she politely informed me that she was the only person working that section that day. IT WA S A SATURDAY!!! Home Depots busiest day and those idiots have ONE PERSON working a huge section all by herself??? Are you kidding me?
We left. Went down the street to Tile World and spent 2X on tile than we would have at Home Depot. But, we got very good service from a knowledgeable tile guru. Then we headed over to Lowes. Those guys have their crap together. We got the help we needed there and bought the sink, cabinet, lighting and everything else we needed. We dropped a pile of cash at Lowes that we were planning on leaving at the Home Depot. This very knowledgeable and nice guy at Lowes stayed with us during the whole process and took outstanding care of us. Lowes is my new favorite store….

I have always hated the color ORANGE.